This time last year...

Disclaimer : If you are not a mother yet and intend to be a mother somewhere in future, please read this only if you have a strong heart/stomach. ;-)

This time last year, I was 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I looked like a hippo (literally). My feet were swollen beyond words can describe. My tummy was stretched to the size of a very big watermelon. Suffice to say, I was more than ready to deliver the baby I have been nurturing in my womb for the past 9 months+. 

This time last year, I was already admitted in the hospital to be induced for labor. 

I had what people would say an uneventful pregnancy. Very mild dose of morning sickness, the normal cramps now and then, low red blood cell (expected, I have been always anemic). I was full of energy and was loving it being pregnant. Finally I can wear whatever clothes I wanted to and no one can say that I have a big tummy! :P 

Then came week 30. The complications started. Glucose was detected in my urine during one of the pre-natal clinic visits. I had gestational diabetes. It was not something surprising. My father has diabetes and I have been under monitoring since the 1st trimester. I refused to take insulin, I knew I could control my food intake and keep the diabetes in control. I always had sweet tooth and somehow when I was pregnant, it just intensified. Sigh. 

I didn't have any food fetish when I was pregnant, but I loved dessert! It's ok, it's just for another 2 months or so. I was very sure everything would be fine. 

Week 36 came, glucose was under control. But, my feet were the size of a baby elephant. +___+. It was so swollen that I could not move my feet without feeling any pain. Back then only one mantra was running through my head; "4 more weeks to go, 4 more weeks only".

During the visit to my gynae at week 38, he raised concern that the baby was slightly on the big side (scan showed 3.6kg +/-200g). And since this is my 1st child, it would be difficult for normal delivery if the baby got any bigger. So, the doc informed to get myself admitted on 12.12.12 to be induced for labor IF I have not got the natural pain by then. 

12.12.12 came, no pain, no indication for the baby to come (was my womb that comfortable little baby?). So I had to 'serah diri' to my doctor to be induced for delivery. 

After the normal procedure done, the 1st round of induction was done. A medicine called Prostin was inserted intra-vagina at 9am, Was told to lie down for at least 30mins to enable the medicine to dissolve. 11am, no sign of contraction. I could still walk around, eat as usual and have no sense whatsoever of pain. There was just a slight discomfort. Doc came for rounds at 1pm. No contraction, not dilated, no progress. Sigh. This continued till 7pm. Doctor asked me to call it a day, get a good night's sleep and we will see how things go the next day. 

Why baby, why you no come out? Hahaha... 

13.12.12, same process repeated again, this time I was given induction via IV. Now was the real deal. Contractions begin as soon as the IV was in. 9am, Doctor visits once again. Dilated a mere 4cm. Wth! Doctor decides to break the waterbag and gives me time till 2pm to dilate till 10cm, else other alternatives has to be discussed. Way to go doctor! That is definitely the way to encourage natural delivery! (eye-rolling). 

11am, dilated till 5cm only, I breakdown crying in the delivery room. Husband is flabbergasted. It's not the pain I tell him. Pain I can tolerate. It's the uncertainty. I have no complications. I should not have to go through a surgery to get the baby out. He calms me down and asks me to relax. Contractions become stronger. The husband asks me "Is it painful?". I tell him to leave. Hahahahaha. 

The midwife suggests that I take a pain killer shot. I refuse, afraid that it would further delay the contraction progress. But she claims that it will help me to relax, and subsequently help me to dilate faster. I take the shot. It must have been some miracle shot. Within 2 hours I have dilated to 9 cm! Hallelujah! (albeit having bone crushing contractions, I was relieved that it's soon). 

13.45, the Doctor comes in. Tells me to push only and only when I have a contraction. That's easy. I have been having contractions less than 1 minute apart. I push with all my energy for the next contractions. I do not scream, I do not utter a word. I conserve the energy to push. On the 4th contractions, the Doctor tells me to give a last push with all of my energy (of what I have left!). And suddenly I feel something gushing out! That was it, that was my baby! He was out, he was safe. :-)

As cliched as it may sound, once the baby was born, I forgot the pain, I forgot the hardship, I forgot that I have been ripped. All I could do was to thank God that the baby was save and I survived. I survived the toughest battle in my life. 

Someone asked me how did I feel when I delivered the baby. My answer was "I felt as if my heart was ripped and put back in place the exact moment he was delivered". Hahahahaha. But it was worth every drop of sweat, tear and blood shed. Will I do it again? NOT in the near future. Maybe after a year, or two, or three or never again. :P

This time last year, I was not sure if I could face the challenge. This time last year, I was not sure if I would succeed. This time last year was so full of uncertainty. But this time, this year, I look back at this time, last year with a whimsical smile. 

I made it and that's what counts. :-)