Just thankful..

As parents, I believe we are challenged the most when our child is sick. Especially the young ones who can't tell us what's wrong. Iishwar was always a healthy baby. Yeah he did get the flu or fever occasionally but he was always able to have a speedy recovery. Until I stopped breastfeeding him, which was when he was about 8 & 1/2 months old. He started falling sick so frequently and it took a long time for him to get well. From August 2013 till now, I have visited the pediatrician at least 10 times. Sigh.

Last 2 weeks was the most challenging for us. Iishwar was down with some viral infection which causes him to either vomit out whatever we fed him (even water) ord to have such bad diarrhea that it could leak out from his diapers. We were worried beyond words could describe.

As parents, it was really heartbreaking to watch him lie down weakly and not being active as he was always. All we could do was to keep him hydrated as the Doctor suggested. And he must have hated me for pinning him down to force-feed him the multiple medicine that was given to him (I am very sorry baby, I have no choice). 

We even went to the extend of admitting him to the hospital, but somehow there was some godly intervention, I think. There was no room available in the hospital. A private specialist hospital, go figure! And by God's grace, he got better the very same day and we were just so glad we did not admit him after all. 

While all this was happening, I was asking God why was this happening to us? What did the poor little boy do to suffer this much? I got my answer when I came across this blog about Baby Alexa. 

I cried as I read Nat's blog. Nat's baby Alexa was born sleeping (still born). She had a normal pregnancy with no complications till she was 9 months pregnant. Another 4 weeks to her due date she felt that there was something wrong as Baby Alexa's movement reduced drastically. A visit to her ob-gyn confirmed her suspicion. There was no heartbeat. Her baby was gone. As  a mother, I could only say I know how she feels. To carry a child for 36 - 40 weeks in your womb to just lose the child? Devastating. 

Yes, people will say that it is God's will and that we should be happy that the child is now in heaven. But as a mother, all we can think is : I WANT THE CHILD WITH ME, NOT IN HEAVEN! 

Who would want to go through the ups and downs of being pregnant and just lose the child at the end? 

What's worse was that, Nat had to still go through the delivery process and the confinement after her delivery. Honestly, being pregnant is a breeze. Even delivery is tolerate-able up to an extend. But the confinement? That's a whole lot of a different story. It is not only difficult but it is also very challenging. What makes it better? The fact that you have a baby to love and care for. Imagine going through all the pain, trauma and stress and not have your baby with you? There's no worse feeling than that. 

And then, it hit me. I am a very fortunate person. I had a somewhat uneventful pregnancy and delivery (now that I know about Nat, I don't think my delivery was difficult at all). My baby is fine and healthy (god bless him and touch all the wood in the world). I get to go back home and see my baby everyday. I could see him progress as he grows. I can provide him with whatever he needs. What more could I ask for? 

I am just thankful for what God has given me. I have learnt to accept that even if my life may not be perfect, but it is enough for me. I have a loving husband, a mischievous and healthy baby, a great and supportive family and a bunch of crazy friends who are there for me when I need them. 

And for all that, I am just thankful....

p/s : Nat is now pregnant with her 2nd baby. Let's pray for her, her baby and Baby Alexa :-)

30 Things You Should Do/Know Before Turning 30!

Disclaimer : This is NOT a new year resolution post. 

I can't believe that this is happening so soon... Where did my 20's go to?? I can still remember when I turned 20. And all of a sudden I will be 30? Thirty?? The BIG 3-0??? Ok Rathi, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Age is just a number! Oh, who am I kidding! 

Damn, I can't believe it, I will be turning 30 in 2014! I hate 2014 just for that. 

I have two choices though. Mop around till Sept 2014, orrrrrr, I can learn how to embrace it. I choose the latter. (have always been cup-half-full person). 

Going to be 30, soon. Hyperventilating! I digress. 

Anyway, here's 30 things I think you should do/have done before turning 30, based on experience of yours truly. (inspired by 25 Things I've Learned In 25 Years). 

Drum roll please (in random order)... : 

1. Learn to respect yourself before you expect people to respect you. 

2. Go away for at least 1 trip every 3 months (doesn't matter if it is just 1 night stay at a hotel in a nearby town, i.e at Penang if staying in Kulim. Just saying.) 

3. Learn to allocate time for family and friends and not just work. 

4. Learn to allocate 'me time' at least 3 - 4 times a week (even if it is just a mere 30mins per session). 

5. Don't hold grudges, life is too short for all that. 

6. Learn to forgive no matter how hard it is. 

7. Always remember that "this will also pass", immaterial if it is a good or a bad thing. 

8. Believe that there's true love out there (if you have not found yours yet). 

9. Laugh when in distress. It helps, believe me. 

10. Learn to let go. No point clinging and pining on someone or something which is not worth. 

11. That life is tough, but you are always tougher. 

12. Be spontaneous, sometimes the best experiences in life happens unplanned. 

13. Give without expecting anything in return. Be selfless. (not easy, but do-able)

14. Know that there will always be people who are not happy with you, but also know that you can't possibly please everyone. 

15. Be happy with what you have and learn not to compare. There are some people out there who are less fortunate than you are. 

16. Help a stranger in need (if it is absolutely save, I am not asking you to stop your car in the middle of the night to help a stalled car!)

17. Don't regret for what has happened, there's always a reason for everything. 

18. Live life day by day, you are not god, you can't predict the future. 

19. Start a small saving account and consistently contribute to it. (with more commitments coming in future, a little savings can go a long way...)

20. Learn how to be independent. 

21. Believe in yourself even when others don't. 

22. Make at least 1 person laugh/smile each day. Life will be much better. 

23. Say "I Love You" more often to the people you love. 

24. Love and be comfortable with your body and take good care of it.  

25. Sacrifice something for your loved ones (no, not your life). 

26. Be realistic with goals. You can't buy a Ferrari if you are earning RM2k per month. 

27. Donate regularly to those who are in need (blood, money, books, food). 

28. Don't stop dreaming. 

29. Re-kindle an old friendship which has died down.

30. Finally, be true to yourself in all kind of situation. If you start cheating yourself then what is there to life? 

I can go on and on and on. 30 is just a small number after all (consoling myself). 

These are things I've learnt based on experience, some mine, some of people around me. They may be trivial but important. These are things we over-look  most of the time. But, above all, what matters most is; be yourself, be comfortable, don't pretend. So that, no matter if you turn 30 or 300, life will always be good. ;-)